My First Canada Day in Ottawa: the Immersive Experience

Nancy and the girls have risen early, eager to stake their place on the lawn on Parliament Hill. Coleman Hell will be performing. I am more inclined toward Metric.

Nancy has been left an absurd note from housekeeping warning her of the dangers of storing insulin in the minibar. These include errant in and out charges due to automatic sensors which take the inventory. They are already in the lobby making alternate arrangements with the concierge as I affix my I [heart] Canada pin.

I press the button for the lift in gray shorts and a white quick dry shirt with red trim. I believe what I have on is the appropriate extent of patriotic Canadian display. The doors open. The couple already on board is covered head-to-toe in Canada paraphernalia: shirts, shorts, hats, pins. Rocket Richard, Stompin' Tom, and a maple tree have vomited on them. She is festooned with 2 flags protruding from either side of some kind of hat/hairpiece. He has maple leaf socks. Then, a tall figure, gray hair, but somewhat bald, tastefully dressed in khaki pants and a navy blazer asks for the lobby floor. Glancing at the couple and then at me, Peter Mansbridge, all business, asks, "Going to the Hill?" Glancing at the couple and back at our national newsman, I say, "Where else?"

Such is the start to my most Canadian of Canada Days.